When Jess was born I came across another incident that brought me face to face with stark reality...the crude, raw and naked truth about the status of women in India.
When I was in pre labour room, there was this patient's bed in front of my bed. To me she was sleeping...later on over hearing the docs' discussion, I came to know that she was in comma. Suddenly the docs rushed saying that the baby is coming out. They pulled the curtains on, and then after sometime the baby was born...but the child did not cry. After few moments, an elderly lady came into the room. Apparently she was the mom-in-law of the patient. The docs told her that the baby was dead, and showed her the dead body of the child. She was a baby girl...but that lady started shouting at the docs, saying that she won't take the dead body…the baby was supposed to be a boy. The doctors were shocked. She said they have never had baby girls in their family, and will not accept one...even if she is already dead. The Head Of Gynecology Department came in, and threatened her that the hospital authorities will get her arrested. Anyhowz her family accepted the baby's body, and God knows what they did with her. I doubt if they gave the child a decent funeral
The day next to the one when Jess was born, Renu (the patient) passed away. In the waiting room Renu's mom was in a bad condition. She had not had a single drop of water from the time Renu had been admitted. On the other hand Renu's husband and parents- in-law had no signs of grief on their face. Sometimes, I even spotted her husband laughing. He looked so callous.
Somehow I empathized with Renu's mom and went to express my condolence ...and what she told shocked me. She told that Renu had fallen off from the roof of her house. An hour before the incident, Renu had called her mom telling that she was feeling dizzy after having her lunch. She sounded upset, as after her ultrasound test her in-laws were in a weird kind of mood. An hour later, the phone call came from her in laws informing her about the mishap. Would a nine month pregnant lady go to the roof of her house especially after she was feeling dizzy? Was it a well calculated murder...and perhaps they knew Renu was carrying a baby girl...I asked aunty whether they suspected a foul play…but she looked too scared to answer in affirmative. She just shook her head and said that there was no use in thinking over such things as their child was gone now.
I am pretty sure Renu's hubby would have got married by now, and who knows is a proud father of at least 3 sons...but my heart goes to Renu's old parents who married off their daughter, their only child to this man...thinking that he will be her life companion, not knowing that he will be the one who will kill her. What kind of life would they be living now...I don't whether they are still living; but if they are, it must be a life where every moment is worst than death.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Holding my first child
This weekend went really hectic. Well it was my daughter’s birthday…she turned five this year. We had a great party, with over 50 people were invited to a dance cum dinner party. She wore pink cargo trousers, with a white/pink tshirt (with pink Barbie on it); and her curly hair were all blown up with a band to keep them away from eyes. I had put some casual make up on her face so that her face shines a little bit. When the guests came over, one of my uncles asked her to give a peck on his cheek…she refused saying that her lipstick would go off. Well that surprised everybody. Hmmm…my little angel is growing up fast.
That night my thoughts went back to the day she was born. It was early July morning; at around 3:00AM I experienced the first labour pang. As I was at my parents place, I woke up my mom. She got up with a jerk…and quickly started making preparations to take me to the hospital. That got me nervous, and I started crying. She told me ‘Don’t worry…just think of the gift that you will get’. Well I could not understand what she meant.
I was taken to the hospital. The pain escalated as the time went by. It took me16 hours to deliver her. By the time she was born (around 5:55 PM) I was drained out of energy. Finally she was born…the docs took her to a pediatrician, and within few secs I heard her cry… a shrilling but a very sweet sound that sometimes still rings in my ears. The doc brought her to me to show that it’s a baby girl. Now I see this very fair pink child…crying in the arms of the doctor. I felt something strange in my chest…a feeling that’s hard to explain in words. My first few moments of motherhood were that of awe. I was surprised…and was continuously looking at her till they administered the valium shot to me, so that I could sleep. When I was brought to the post natal ward, I was asleep.
After few hours (around 9:00 PM), one of the co-inmates of the ward woke me up saying “Hey didi, wake up. See your child is fairest of all babies in the ward. She is so lovely and is awake”. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see her lying just besides me. She was looking directly at me, as if figuring out whether I am her mom…Then I got up to sit, even though staggered for a while.I held her.
I won’t exaggerate if I say that I totally forgot the 16 hours long pains that I had gone through. It was an eternal moment of joy and happiness…truly speaking it bettered all the joys of the world. It was a moment that took me to an altogether alien world of motherhood. I was smiling, and had tears in my eyes. Now I knew what mom said ‘The Gift’. She is the gift of life to me...they say once you become a mom, you stay so for all your life. Yes!!! I am a mom now. I held her close to my chest, and thanked God for giving her to me. I and my husband had already chosen a name for her: Jessica. It is a hebrewish word meaning wealth.
During my stay in the hospital, I had my worst experience of the gender bias in India. No one in the ward congratulated me…I was surprised and disappointed. Whoever heard it is a girl child patted my back and said ‘Never mind. Next time we hope you have a son.’ I felt like hitting them...When my hubby held her in his arms, he thanked me for giving him such a beautiful child. He told me that I had given him the best gift of his life.
Daughters are a true treasure of life. As a daughter myself, I know the kind of affection that a mother daughter relationship holds. Even though the wishes of my well wishers came true and we were blessed with a baby boy last year, Jessica holds the same position in our lives. She is an apple of her dad's eyes. Even her little bro (who often is manhandled by her :-D) adores her completely. I very fondly call her 'Chandaa' (moon). May god bless my little girl with a happy and successful life.
This goes perfect for her:
Chubby cheeks, dimpled chin
Rosy lips, teeth within
Eyes are blue (naaahhh light brown)
Lovely too
Momma's pet, is that you?
Yes I am, Yes I am
Watch her sing
That night my thoughts went back to the day she was born. It was early July morning; at around 3:00AM I experienced the first labour pang. As I was at my parents place, I woke up my mom. She got up with a jerk…and quickly started making preparations to take me to the hospital. That got me nervous, and I started crying. She told me ‘Don’t worry…just think of the gift that you will get’. Well I could not understand what she meant.
I was taken to the hospital. The pain escalated as the time went by. It took me16 hours to deliver her. By the time she was born (around 5:55 PM) I was drained out of energy. Finally she was born…the docs took her to a pediatrician, and within few secs I heard her cry… a shrilling but a very sweet sound that sometimes still rings in my ears. The doc brought her to me to show that it’s a baby girl. Now I see this very fair pink child…crying in the arms of the doctor. I felt something strange in my chest…a feeling that’s hard to explain in words. My first few moments of motherhood were that of awe. I was surprised…and was continuously looking at her till they administered the valium shot to me, so that I could sleep. When I was brought to the post natal ward, I was asleep.
After few hours (around 9:00 PM), one of the co-inmates of the ward woke me up saying “Hey didi, wake up. See your child is fairest of all babies in the ward. She is so lovely and is awake”. I opened my eyes and was surprised to see her lying just besides me. She was looking directly at me, as if figuring out whether I am her mom…Then I got up to sit, even though staggered for a while.I held her.
I won’t exaggerate if I say that I totally forgot the 16 hours long pains that I had gone through. It was an eternal moment of joy and happiness…truly speaking it bettered all the joys of the world. It was a moment that took me to an altogether alien world of motherhood. I was smiling, and had tears in my eyes. Now I knew what mom said ‘The Gift’. She is the gift of life to me...they say once you become a mom, you stay so for all your life. Yes!!! I am a mom now. I held her close to my chest, and thanked God for giving her to me. I and my husband had already chosen a name for her: Jessica. It is a hebrewish word meaning wealth.
During my stay in the hospital, I had my worst experience of the gender bias in India. No one in the ward congratulated me…I was surprised and disappointed. Whoever heard it is a girl child patted my back and said ‘Never mind. Next time we hope you have a son.’ I felt like hitting them...When my hubby held her in his arms, he thanked me for giving him such a beautiful child. He told me that I had given him the best gift of his life.
Daughters are a true treasure of life. As a daughter myself, I know the kind of affection that a mother daughter relationship holds. Even though the wishes of my well wishers came true and we were blessed with a baby boy last year, Jessica holds the same position in our lives. She is an apple of her dad's eyes. Even her little bro (who often is manhandled by her :-D) adores her completely. I very fondly call her 'Chandaa' (moon). May god bless my little girl with a happy and successful life.
This goes perfect for her:
Chubby cheeks, dimpled chin
Rosy lips, teeth within
Eyes are blue (naaahhh light brown)
Lovely too
Momma's pet, is that you?
Yes I am, Yes I am
Watch her sing
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